You must be kicking yourself. She says she can't wait to get home and handle her new Phillips upright. It all started with an iconic wartime show called 'It's That Man Again' or. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue : A Second Treasury, CD/Spoken Word - eBay The 31 funniest South Park jokes and quotes She visits the old men down there every so often to get new material for the show, but it's a trifle unorganised down there. This page was last edited on 1 February 2023, at 00:16. 'Wait while someone comes on with piece of cardboard.'". I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue definitions - Tripadvisor Comedian and BBC Radio 4 'I'm Sorry I haven't a Clue' stalwart Barry Now aged 103, Mr. Hinkler celebrated by repeating the event in October this yearand beat the train by seven and a half hours. Caberet - wide range of taxis for hire. Samantha is in charge of polishing, while he scrapes the varnish and wax off next to her. Eventually, the nuns of Beverley convent rose in revolt, and laid seige to Hull. 34 of the best Valentines Day jokes and funniest one-liners People often talk of the rich, slightly posh, authoritarian tone of Humph's voice. Tweet us @TeleTweetures with your thoughts. 2 days until dreams become reality. ", "Leeds galleries and museums may contain countless priceless artefacts, but keen-eyed visitors may also find here certain curiosities of no financial value, remnants from a bye-gone age guaranteed to kill half an hour. It's her first day, so apparently she's going to give a speech in the back room and hand jobs out in the office. A revered stand-up comedian, Hardy was also a hit on Radio 4 panel shows such as The News Quiz and I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue. again, so he's had to come on his bike. 34 of Lee Evans funniest jokes and quotes After Naismith selected a dozen from the archives, he had eight notes from management on things that had to be cut, and Im pleased to say I successfully disputed all but one. Perennial antidote to panel games. Moment commuter blasts eco-zealots, Moment bull suffers catastrophic injuries after leaping from bridge, Russian freight train derails and bursts into flames after explosion, Royal superfans camping on The Mall ahead of King's Coronation, Historic chairs to be reused by the King for the coronation service, Women's rights activists and pro-trans campaigners separated, Saboteurs wreck Russian train cut power cables 37mi from Ukraine, Cambridge students party in the park during annual celebrations, Devastating tornado picks up car and hurls it through air in Florida, Student kicked out of school for 'there are only two genders' t-shirt, Unseen footage of Meghan Markle during her teenage years, Hundreds of Household Division members rehearse for coronation. The best Graham Norton jokes and most scathing put-downs I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue (TV Movie 2008) - IMDb 25 of Charlie Brookers most cutting jokes and insults 27 of Sarah Millicans laugh out loud jokes While being mocked by the others for his age and incompetence at trying to read a tricky retake, he stopped, gazed to the side for a moment, squinted, and asked: "Has the man in the end bed died?" Some definitions from the Radio 4 Sorry I Haven't A Clue radio show : Abacus - Swedish swear word. RIP Tim. After the success of our 'not for broadcast' Theatre Tours in 2007, 2008, 2009 and 2010 (all sell-outs), we're returning with a special fundraising edition of the show for the charity ENRYCH, whose stated aim is to enrich the lives of disabled adults. Following reports that BBC Radio 4 considered toning down I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue because of complaints over the smutty jokes, here are some of the show's dirty innuendos from four years of broadcasting. . Perhaps encouraging complaints about schoolboy humour was the fact that despite the early inclusion of Jo Kendall the stand-out panellists were for a long time blokes. "Dear Mr Titchmarsh: This morning I went out to dig up some dandelions and a giant hogweed on my lawn. Jeremy Hardy: remembering the comedians funniest jokes and quotes One of the series other crucial personnel is Colin Sell the resident pianist since being recruited as a student in 1975. I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue Box Set Of 6 CD's Used. All quotes are by Humphrey Lyttelton unless otherwise stated. I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue Quotes, Series 36 - 39 - ivorysky 02:49 EDT 24 Sep 2012. At the end of one of the last performances, he was handed his trumpet to close the show. Even though I was responsible for what I like to describe as "post-feminist irony" (known in the comedy business as "knob gags"), I was sometimes equally amazed by what we asked Humph to try to get away with. He'll carefully take out her 38 bees and soon have them flying round his head. 23 of Outnumbereds funniest (and possibly unscripted) quotes) Valentines poems: 32 most romantic quotes from historys greatest poets I have no clue what you guys are talking about half the time, but I love the enthusiasm. Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand broadcast an offensive phone call to the actor Andrew Sachs. Just imagine, it's a sunny Monday night in December in lovely Brighton, the cast of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue are singing one song out of tune to another, while Colin Sell has a disagreement with a grand piano. ", "Colin Sell is at the piano, and with exciting career news - he tells me that he's recently started to work with pop sensation Bjork, so now he's making regular trips to Iceland or if they're shut, he goes to Bejams. I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue - 50 And Not Out - British Comedy Guide I hate people who think its clever to take drugs like custom officers. This is the game where the team are presented with the first half of memorable quotations to finish off: Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe. Clued out former long-serving panellists Barry Cryer and Willie Rushton. Or they can climb up to the top of the mighty tower of the Shell Centre to enjoy a panoramic vista right across half of London. 2021 Associated Newspapers Limited. Yes. ", "Dear Rolf: They say a dog isn't just for Christmas. , updated to the best of my recollection. Best Smart DNS for Spain. ", "Musical accompaniment will be provided by Colin Sell, who tells me he's thinking of branching out into artist management. ", "While Samantha nips out to warm up her little Morris", Samantha has to nip out now as she's got a new job working in the sound archive as the manager. Best father of the bride jokes for a wedding speech to remember It once made a blind man deaf. Orbison, of course, was nicknamed 'The Big O', and in turn, he affectionately referred to Colin as 'That Little C'", "Piano accompaniment will be provided by Colin Sell, who tells me that his musical influences are Middle-Eastern in origin mostly Shi'ite!". All rights reserved. I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T A CLUE - Page 3 ", "Samantha has to nip out now as she's got a new job working in the sound archive as the manager. Or: " the title will be provided by the technical wizardry of the multi-pixelated laser display screen. Is this the Guinness Book of World Records record for Guinness Book of World Records? Sincerely, Specsavers, The High Street, Hastings. As to his not being a comedian: that is also untrue. Dear Moses, Just to let you know the jet ski is now in stock. Jack Dee chairs the 75th series of the show. Jack Dee chairs the 78th series of the show. Yours in haste, Mrs. Trellis, Dear Mr. Duggleby, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why does my typewriter always stick on the letter Y? During the pandemic lockdowns, Clue was included in an emergency list of shows chosen by the then director general, Tony Hall, to cheer people up. Winter: the season when we try to keep . Sun 19 Oct 2008 19.01 EDT. Harry Hill, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Colin Sell, Humphrey Lyttelton, Jon Naismith, Graeme Garden and Barry Cryer in Oxford for a recording of Im Sorry I Havent a Clue in 2005. ", "We call the next game Word for Word; it's a word game. I feel like, in mythology, Neptune is just a copy of Poseidon Clue also survived the technical challenge of lockdown recordings on Zoom. To Michelangelo, His Holiness wants the ceiling plain magnolia emulsion. The teams take it in turns to sing various lines in order to make up a the verses of a madrigal. I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue Box Set Of 6 CD's Used | eBay Garden recalls a meeting with then BBC director general, Mark Thompson, at which Thompson cried: Double everyones pay!, Fees have remained unchanged since, say insiders. Apparently he has this dream of handling The Spice Girls. The comedian was a stalwart on BBC Radio 4's popular panel game 'I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue'. Evil Lives Here 2023 S5E14 | Evil Lives Here 2023 S5E14 Pls - Facebook Love your butter., 38 of the funniest cat jokes and memes During his silent, solitary pre-show read-through in a dingy corner of the theatre, I would occasionally spot him scribbling notes when he discovered a typo or a grammatical error. m. madrigal. ", "What happens in Manchester today happens in the rest of the world tomorrow. The joke's on me | Radio | The Guardian Back in the day I seem to remember hearing one of the team saying that when Humphrey passed on (for he was the oldest) they'd end the programme as a mark of respect, and also on the basis that no-one could replace Lyttleton. Mrs. Sell says it's the only thing that gets him up in the morning. "Sorry I Haven't A Clue" Introduction Transcripts The 70th series of the multi-award-winning comedy panel game chaired by Jack Dee. ", While Samantha nips over to Prague for a quick check-up". I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue: The Best of Forty Years - Goodreads 41 of Eddie Izzards funniest jokes and quotes "Piano accompaniment will be provided by Co "But, I hear you ask, what possible use could there be for a dummy with two left hands? ", "The area has become even more of a tourist attraction. 71. Dandelion - camp Big Cat. Extracted from Im Sorry I Havent A Clue: The Best Of Forty Years by Barry Cryer, Graeme Garden, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Jack Dee et al, to be published by Preface on October 4 at 20. After he did a few of the stage tours, he started to sing in tune, which rather spoiled the effect. Incidentally, we were all surprised to hear that Colin has recently been standing in for Oasis. "Buffet" is a French word that means "get up and get it yourself.". ", "You'll be accompanied on the piano by Colin Sell, one of the finest musicians of the dayof course, when night comes, something seems to desert him. " the man who put the C into rap music Colin Sell! ", "The round is called Karaoke Cokey, and it'll be led by Colin Sell at the piano. Cryer, who was called "giant of British comedy", was well-known for his role on BBC Radio 4's I'm Sorry I Haven't A. It may not have said so in his passport, but he was one of the wittiest comedians I ever met - one who could go off-script with the sharpest ad-libs. Thanks for that nugget . From I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, 1995. 20 of the most absurdly funny quotes from Nathan Barley the "I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue" appreciation thread I like to ring them up, and play the sound of running water down the phone., Ive had my run-ins with booze; its well documented. In which the panel translate the true meaning of that ignoble professions favourite soundbites: As the Honourable Member is perfectly aware, I have nothing to hide You bastard, how did you find out? Hosted by Humphrey Lyttelton, and originally played by Barry Cryer, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graeme Garden, Willie Rushton, a range of guests have performed on the programme's panel since it began. Born in 1972, it was something of a continuation of the Sketch Show I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again (which was also the origin of Monty Python's Flying Circus and The Goodies). "When I'm Cleaning Windows" to the tune of "Walking in the Air" (Graeme Garden) 33. Actually, we were interested to hear that Colin has recently been enjoying himself in the brass section. But then the BBC got in touch with Jon Naismith, remembers Sell, and said emails were flooding in from listeners who needed it back.. ", "Well with Mickey Mouse's big hand pointing upwards and Goofy's tail pointing downwards, I realise my Rolex is a fake. And Barry Cryer, much to the relief of listeners, claims I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue won't be changed or supressed, and says the row over smutty jokes has died down. Sit down, Madam." Together they form a body of work stretching across five decades, from Cambridge in 1960 to today's world-beating Antidote to Panel Games, a laughter-bringer . His attitude was that the writing of the script wasn't his job. ", "During Tudor times, Hull's customs levies on Humber shipping resulted in a feud with neighbouring Beverley. Yours, Mrs. Trellis. No radio show has aided that cause greater than I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, the much-loved panel show that Lyttelton (right) chaired until his death four years ago. It reads: "When I heard Colin Sell playing the mouth organ, I rushed in just in time to catch his set. Lyttelton's Britain: A User's Guide to the British Isles As Heard On BBC Radio's I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, by Iain Pattinson, is published by Preface. Dec 12, 2005. The manageress at Dorothy Perkin's says if she catches him in there again, she'll call the police. Five iconic Barry Cryer jokes as beloved comedian dies at 86 - HITC The chairman, jazz trumpeter Humphrey Lyttelton, was an unusual choice, and he seemed appalled by the format, testily setting the length of one contest at two minutes, or as long as I can stand it. . His job was to read it. ", "Samantha has to nip out now, as she is off to see a Scots trawlerman friend, whose vessel needs to go in for repairs. Missed ISIHAC on Monday so I only got to hear the latest Lionel Blair joke at lunchtime. Stephen Frys Countryside joke was first aired on 13 April 2002, not on 4 February 2010; and Lionel Blair didnt host Give Us a Clue, but was a team captain. He'll carefully take out her 38 bees and soon have them flying round his head. The sound isn't terribly good. ", "Despite this only three expressions of Scottish derivation are in regular use: kilt, haggis, and Partick Thistle nil. Oh hang on. brightondome.org. Recorded in 2008 at The Lowry in Salford. The Fully Authorised History of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue "Psycho Killer" to the tune of "Save Your Love" (Linda Smith) 34. 2012 Barry Cryer, Graeme Garden, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Willie Rushton, Iain Patterson, Jeremy Hardy and Jon Naismith. Any chance of a signed photo for my grandson Dyno-Rod Emergency Hotline Trellis?, Dear Mr. Gadaffi, You must be very proud. Edit: I feel like a lot of people still aren't getting that this is a "power to Control Sea" joke :) I read in some mythology that Medusa, King Midas, and Oedipus all raised a child together. ", "Musical accompaniment at the piano will be provided by Colin Sell. Also, Samantha was usually the instigator of these alleged events she was never taken advantage of and also, finally, she didnt exist. The matter was eventually settled by alternating her duties with Sven, an equally libidinous male. The show is introduced as "The Antidote to Panel Games" and consists of a panel of four comedians, split into two teams and "given silly things to do" by a chairman. He's recently become a bit of an expert with the pan pipes so if anyone has a blocked toilet they want cleared", "As ever, Colin Sell will be providing backup on the piano, although that's by no means his only instrument. ", "The sound effects were acquired for us from the BBC archives by the lovely Samantha. 30 of Romesh Ranganathans funniest jokes and quotes I then think about the show I have to write: its form, its style, its performers. After Chairman Humph, we got Have I Got News for You, They Think It's All Over, Never Mind the Buzzcocks and countless other comedy panel games, where the chairman appears not to want to be there and isn't too fond of either his guests or the subject matter. To calm things down, she had to keep them apart all morning." . Deadpan comedian Jack . Radio 4's I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue's funniest definitions to make you smile this Christmas Credit: Shutterstock The tongue-in-cheek take on the English language was introduced on Radio. Humph was famous for his delivery of deadpan double entendres on his radio show I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue. Schindler Goes To Ryman's, Buys A Biro And A Notebook, Freud-Grown Tomatoes at the Weasel's Top Cafe, The Reigning Pain Stays Mainly on the Plane, Learn how and when to remove this template message, https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=I%27m_Sorry_I_Haven%27t_a_Clue&oldid=3242984, "Samantha tell us she has to nip off now to see her gentleman beautician friend now, who has a leg hair treatment for her. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue: Too smutty for Radio 4? - The Telegraph It says on my thing here, you all keep going until it stops being funny. And at the Naturistss Ball, please welcome, if you will: Mr and Mrs Gleebits and their son, Dan, From Poland, Mr and Mrs Vestov and their very keen daughter, Eva, The Right Honorable Mr Knott-Snowing and his lovely daughter, Gladys. 70. 50 football jokes to make you laugh or groan The keeper said if he caught Colin throwing them at the ducks again, he'd call the police. Let's move on. In November 2020, before the start of the latest series of the classic Radio 4 comedy panel show I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, long-time panellist Barry Cryer, who has died aged 86, talked Radio . We note that although you will provide adequate chariot parking for visitors, the attractions proximity to the A344 and A303 junction is likely to cause severe traffic congestion. She says he's looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van. ", "This musical lament will be accompanied by Colin Selland music doesn't come more lamentable than that. Jul 27, 2018 - A compilation of every single Lionel Blair joke (as well as a few with Una Stubbs and Christopher Biggins) from the BBC Radio 4 panel game "I'm Sorry I Haven. The show launched in April 1972 as a parody of radio and TV panel games, and has been broadcast ever since on BBC Radio 4 and the BBC World Service. . I think the Clue boys were quite pleased to have fresh people in.. Here's some of her excuses for leaving early: **Important** - A warning about a new book about Humphrey Lyttelton. (modern), Humph 'It didn't even occur to him that he was funny. ", "Samantha has to nip out now to spend time with her new gentleman friend. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue: smuttiest jokes. discovered by Rex | Has the i.m.p.o.r.t.a.n.t clue of the case been This page is not available in other languages. And yet it seems never to have occurred to many of his listeners that Humph actually had a script, even though he'd often point out during the broadcast that he was reading it for the first time. 50 of Tim Vines most ingenious jokes and one-liners Apparently, they've been working on the restoration of an old chest of drawers. I'm Sorry, I [Still] Haven't a Clue - The Guardian 25 of Peter Kays most ingenious jokes and one-liners Garden says: He told Barry Cryer that he loved those jokes; he relished the publicity. Arent they a bunch of bastards, all that finger up the arsehole, all day long. 100 of the best knock knock jokes (some of which are actually funny) ", "Samantha tells me she has to nip out to help an old man next door who has trouble using his stairlift. 31 Best Man jokes that will work for any wedding Across the 50 years, the series has only twice seemed close to ending. The teams suggest movie titles that might have preceded some of our best-loved classics of entertainment: We would strongly recommend hiring a car You are 103 miles from the nearest lavatory, Plenty of nightlife Watch out for the cockroaches, Stones throw from the beach Mick Jagger once vomited from the top balcony. List of Games On I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue - LiquiSearch Frazier has been assigned to Triple-A Charlotte. It was like being at the golf club, she says. The inimitable Humphrey Lyttelton is in the chair for these 25 hilarious editions (including the very first episode from 1972) plus two volumes of vintage 'Live' recordings (ad libs, retakes, warm-ups and all), a 35th anniversary special edition, and I'm Sorry I Haven't . From George W. Bush: Yo Blair You got it wrong. English writer, comedian and actor Barry Cryer has died at the age of 86. It's not every duck that becomes President. So that's answered your next question. Bustard - very rude ominbus driver. That went off very well. 'We're not your enemies!' Incidentally, new listeners to the programme may be interested to know that Colin Sell was a member of several pop groups in the 60's and 70's, some of which became quite well known after he'd left them. She goes in every night to put him on downstairs, and then pulls him off on the landing. ISIHAC (@ISIHAClue) / Twitter As BBC Radio 4 agrees not to tone down I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, here are some of the show's smutty Samantha jokes over the past four decades For his first 17 years as producer, says Naismith, he was the only one to hear the show before it went out. Burt Reynolds greatest quotes remembering the actors wit and wisdom following his death aged 82 Started by Jemble Fred, May 26, 2005, 02:52:40 PM. The rule was that the joke was always clean on the page, with the laughter coming solely from the mis-hearing - literally, in the double entendre. BBC Radio 4 - I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue It preserves the soul from desiccation. No radio show has aided that cause greater than Im Sorry I Havent A Clue, the much-loved panel show that Lyttelton (right) chaired until his death four years ago. I live next door to this 84-year-old woman, do you know, not once has she come round to see if Im all right. In this game, the teams imagine what effect certain letters might have had on history, had they not gone missing: Dear Dr Guillotine, We shall be pleased to grant a licence for your automated haircutting device just as soon as youve addressed one or two safety issues weve identified. ", "Actually, Colin was telling us that he recently started on backing material with his new singer so if anyone needs some curtains run up", "Actually, listeners may be interested to hear that Colin doesn't only play the piano oh no. Actually, listeners will be impressed to learn that back in the 60's, Colin asked Mick Jagger and Keith Richard if he could take the place of Brian Jones. In ancient Egypt, they wrote unintelligible scribbles on walls and worshipped cats. Following the death of Humphrey Lyttelton in 2008, the show used regular guest panellists Stephen Fry, Jack Dee and Rob Brydon as guest presenters for the 51st series, before choosing Jack Dee as the permanent chairman the following series. Since its inception 'Clue' has seen its success blossom from the impish son of 'I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again' to the big daddy of all panel games. However, given the graphic nature of the sexual acts that were "inadvertently" described, that is at least borderline disingenuous. 1.7K views, 25 likes, 1 loves, 2 comments, 4 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Kimball Concert Association: Evil Lives Here 2023 S5E14 Pls Join Group :. Bliss. Dear Arch Druid of Wiltshire, You are hereby advised that planning permission has been denied for the erection of a large henge of stone. I'm sorry, but why the fuss over fictional Samantha? It was eventually announced that the show's 73rd series in Autumn 2020 would consist of Tim's final two episodes (recorded shortly before the nationwide lockdown), followed by four remotely recorded episodes with the surviving regulars and a virtual audience (categorized by the BBC as Series 74). He also has problems with the words "stop", "that", "dreadful" and "racket". I sometimes say that Clue went on three years too long, he says. Humph redefined the role of the comedy panel game chairman. I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue has been delighting fans since 1972. As BBC Radio 4 agrees not to tone down Im Sorry I Havent a Clue, here are some of the show's smutty Samantha jokes over the past four decades. Graeme Garden, Humphrey Lyttelton, Barry Cryer and Tim Brooke-Taylor in 2001. Billed as "the antidote to panel games", it consists of two teams of two comedians being given "silly things to do" by a chairman. He loved jokes and he loved an audience. 12/04/20 - 13:16 #53. They're going on a driving tour of Wales. Graeme Garden, who devised the show, is surprised by its longevity. The programme was first aired on April 11th1972 and the signature tune "Dear Mr. Gadaffi, You must be very proud. You can imagine how things were livened up in that turkey abbatoir. Now, with Dee having replaced Lyttleton owing to a similar audible reluctance to be there in the chair the only threat to the show might be an increase in censorship, which could lead to Samantha and others being fingered by Radio 4 bosses. The 70th series of the multi-award-winning comedy panel game chaired by Jack Dee. Racing the express train from London, he won by a full eleven minutes. Another bumper collection of classic fun and games from one of BBC Radio 4's best-loved and most enduring comedy panel games. I found it very frustrating. 21 of Rhod Gilberts funniest jokes and one-liners Quotations that certain celebrities would be most unlikely ever to say: Neil Kinnock To cut a long story short Jerry Springer Your private life is no concern of mine, David Attenborough No, pass me the BIG gun, John Humphrys No, no, please finish your point.
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