Im trying not to get too far ahead of myself and Im under no illusion that for her this may well still be a friendship only zone but without your advice i wouldnt be where i am so thank you. My name is Godwin and my girl friend loves me so much until I confessed that I had cheated on her and I have a baby with someone else. Last week she found love texts of another girl in my phone. If a which I said ok and like I said I havent called but do pick up the phone when she calls because I am trying to give her what she wants. My girl and I are not from the same country and we have been apart for three months now and before we had not known each other for that long. I even took a day off work to drive the 2hours back home to visit with her some more. We went out once more and we bonded much more, she couldnt stop touching me at some point, we dug more into ourselves and she voiced concerns if it didnt work out in regards to how we would behave. She dropped me off back home and we said we loved each other and kissed which by that time I was in a better mood and understood I over reacted. For the last 2 weeks since we made new contact, we do talk daily, but there are some days she is distant and others more friendly. Ive begged and apologized for doing nothing. I am glad you are doing some counseling which is helping you learn about yourself. YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/c/ApolloniaPontiInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/apollonia_ponti/Blog:https://www.apolloniaponti.com/blog/ She also became my best friend and i got really close to her kids. Im very stressed and anxious. Thoughts? Once you get to the root of the answer you can work your way around that. Hi Apollonia, Is She Playing Me? I feel like Ive been spending too much of my free time with you, and I just need some space right now. So I have lost 14 pounds in 1 week. What should be my reply to that? So until this past Friday, everything was very good and then Saturday morning she started having concerns. Hope to speak with you soon. She also mentioned She also said that. Apollonia. First i would like to point out, that she has never been so cold or disrespectful to me when it happened. Apollonia. My insecurities got the better of me after she returned from a work trip. So my gf is struggling with the thought of raising another child who is not hers, with someone and the fact that she and our relationship is bound because we cant just pack up and go when We want. Our texting has been very dry and I did go two days without texting her and she texted me about her dad having surgery and I told her I am here for her, providing the stability and comfort and if she needs someone to talk to. Tip # 3 Become confident and happy. Tuesday night I tried calling her just to clarify things but she did not answer but replied that she wants a more days to think things over. We both enjoyed it as we were together all night until the morning the next day. She put effort than suddenly backed off. is 10 minutes away and shes always taking care his family members. My only question is how will she see any positive changes with me going forward, if we are not corresponding during this time of her needing a break? and all the women that say if I dont tell u its not lying. We talked all about one anothers future ambitions which included whether or not as an individual we would want kids or not. After no contact is time to showcase your change and you want to make sure you make the necessary changes and also continue to put yourself first because no one deserves to be someones last option on an option they know that will be around until they make the choice. btw, im living my life, keeping busy, meeting new people (but im not interested). Now I do admit I was smothering clingy and needy which probably caused this problem. Deep breaths. She still has a profile pic of us on her WhatsApp but has been totally inactive on social media and Im now getting worried for her well-being even with everything she said! We had fun again and after that she just got busy and we still continued to face time everyday for those 2 weeks. Hello Apollonia, I dont know what I want right now. Best, Here are the links with more information. You can book a coaching call using this link, Im trying to focus on me and doing things with my friends, but my heart and body wants to reach out to her to make sure shes okay. Hello Apollonia. She choose break. Theres nothing we can do with that because we cant control people, right? I really hope you find the time to be able to reply to this Is there a balance of both or is it circumstantial? Next i said i am really very sorry. 14 Genius Tips To Give Her Space But Still Show You Care After realising my mistake, I gave in and fought back, apologised and got her back within around 2 weeks and tried to just keep rolling with how it always was. Best, What should I do and how can I decipher what she is saying in that exerpt? Like today, I had an interview that she knew about, and didnt say anything before hand and still hasnt asked how it went. I believe right now you should not be available if a woman is going to give her time to another man on your watch. Its been a week now since that text and shes been posting things on her Instagram story , which shes never done the past 5 months so it really feels like shes been posting them for me to see that shes fine (i.e. She asked me if i dont feel guilty, i did not respond. I had been divorced and was hard at first to relay that to her. It seems like you might be a little too affectionate with her right now. Im a woman and when i say i need space i really really mean it. I have respected her time and space because I care so much. I kept bugging her telling her I dont know isnt an answer and I need to know whether she wants to be with me or not. Listen & Dont Put Pressure On HerIf this seems like a no shit, Sherlock statement to you, congratulations. Youre smarter than 90% of guys out there.Give Her The Time She WantsTheres an old saying you should take to heart. No but seriously. When she asks for space, give it to her on her terms.Figure Out Why She Wants SpaceIf shes already told you why she wants to step back, then you can skip this step. But if she hasnt, and youre still I trying to play it cool without texting her for the time being but hurts. My girlfriend and I are on a LDR and a few days ago I told her that just only then I felt sure about my feelings for her. I encourage you to book a session with me as I would have to know the many things that go wrong in the relationship in order to give you tailored advice.I know this is hard but I am sure if you give her space and focus on you it will help. But also, you will be forming a foundation where this woman will not want to do this again as you were honoring space for her. That is whats going on here. You doing this will ruin the relationship. Hello Andres, We spend quality time and our relationship got serious, now shes considering move here with me or breakup with me. We girls love our girl time. If she comes back just showcase your change with actions instead of words. Fast forward to the next day she texts me happy birthday, then proceeds to check in with all of the days activities and asking me to send pictures. Then two days ago my girlfriend met up with me and said she feels she needs space and some time alone as she feels smothered. Will she end up coming back to me? But Im still scared that maybe she doesnt want this relationship anymore and is just asking for a space to slowly wean out the relationship. Let her work on her own things, we cannot change or fix anyone. i dont know.. Im really devastated, i love her very much. Do you want results now? We started seeing each other in November. So since Wednesday 15/09 I have decided to move on and go no contact. Hi Apollonia And finally we met, and she want space, she talked a lot about my mistake at all once. Look up affirmations and do those daily. When we began dating I noted she had some insecurities and personal issues such as low self-esteem. Which caused our communications issues but there was no fighting, rarely any disagreements. 1) She needs a lot of space and time to herself Daisy has a lot of fun when we meet up, but she also needs a lot of time to herself. She said she cant remember them because they are being forcefully applied on her. In the meantime, focus back on yourself! Today my girlfriend told me to that she needs space in order to breath. She says that for the last two weeks there are frequent silence moments between us when were together at her studio and that we dont talk that much anymore like in the beginning. or am I just supposed to suck it up and be a man. She is a single mom with excellent family support. I have a program called She Needs Space it gives you insights on what to do and how to act when a woman says she needs space. Hi, my girlfriend and I been together for almost 3.5 years. Seems quite disrespectful for her to say she has options with a sugar daddy seems to me she has a lot of control of this relationship. She said she wants space. Things moved so fast in the beginning weeks that we were spending just about every waking moment together. Im giving her the space and following your tips not messaging, texting or contacting her, but I work with her! My business partner s has told her I had various ladies come to our home which is true but only one stayed the night with her daughter (autistic) her son her friend and her children. Something happened that made her disconnected from you. Best, One thing that stuck out when she said she wanted space, she wish I would cheat cause it would make it alot easier. I did promise her one day she would be my wife and as time went on I was failing to recognize her signs of our relationship failing. Out of no where one day I got a vibe from her by her text. She made it clear shes not interested even though her friends are constantly pushing her to experiment and try new things. Thats why I created this article! My GF and I were together for 3+ months before the quarantine and decided it was best to try to cohabitate. She will also notice that you are not viewing her stories which will get her to think about you and what youre doing. Focusing on you and showcasing your change instead of voicing it will be the dynamic shift you are looking for in the relationship. She saw this but waited 6 hours to respond. I agree but at the same time this weight of losing her is killing me. Your girlfriend tells you she needs to be alone for a while and you immediately are filled with worry. This is going to be vital if you want to get her back. Recently we had a fight, she said she wanted to break up and I tried to change her mind. I understand that you care about her and you love her but its also important to put yourself first and not be at every waking call that she says to come you come. Should we keep going to this dance trainings together or its better to focus on the no-call/radio silence strategies ? Apollonia. I also wondered is that why Im in this situation in the first place. The reason she needs space is she is tired and doesnt want to communicate with people via meseenger apps and play social media. Thats unfortunate that there is another man. Ive known this girl since 7th grade but we only saterted so see each other a few months ago. While we were talking she told me about sexual abuse that happened to her this year that she hasnt told anyone about, and she went to the police after I urged her to get justice. Youre showing her that its okay to keep doing the same behaviors over and over again, why would she change? Hi Apollonia. I admit that I had been acting overbearing/needy/clingy the previous week. Im contemplating wether I should reach out to her and ask her how shes doing but at the same time I dont think I should. What do it do?? Focus on yourself again, let her come to you and go slow here. Thanks! Hi Ryan, She said im egoist without any explanation. I was trying to explain that she is only my best friend. She said she doesnt know if I can be that person who can fill your heart with love. That doesnt mean that you try and prove that youre the right one for her if someones not ready for a relationship, theyre not ready for a relationship that has nothing to do with you but trying to prove yourself or get them to validate you or make you feel better about the situation is only going to push someone away. The thing about this is the only person that can help their personal growth is the actual individual. We were talking and she mentioned that you can still talk to me if you want, but if you dont want to thats fine and I understand . Again, someone who doesnt fully love themselves, cant love someone else, not yet. I would suggest reading Codependent No More by Melody Beattie, Attached by Amir Levine and No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover. Hi Apollonia, Hello Benjamin, thank you for reading When she says she needs space, heres what to do! In order to get advice pertaining to your situation, I would encourage you to book a coaching session with her so she can help. All I know she is trying her hardest to avoid me right now. A little over a month ago, I began to see someone I longed for for quite sometime. and this messed with my head and I believe it had a huge role in the breakup. Thought it was a huge joke. It happened during tis month.. Shall I wait for her to initiate contact? I would presume she is taking it very careful and slow to see how she feels being back with me after all that time of her dealing with my depression and not wanting to be in that again? She had also just dyed her whole head for the first time in 8 plus months together. Thanks! Kdog626 If this woman is pushing you away because shes going through something and she doesnt want you around, then you need to reanalyze the relationship. Best, You can message her after that but do the work on yourself to find your happiness and self worth from within not from someone else. Hey Apollonia & team, hope youre all well. I always wanted to be there for her, spoiled her, supported her and focused on not pressuring her. Hi Dyl, Hello Jack, I dont know if I should text less and see if she takes more initiative again like she did when we re-connected 2 weeks ago. The rest of the week I was very paranoid as she would not promise me she wouldnt go and hookup with other people. I find it difficult to not message at all, which I guess is also a problem. Best, She asked for space for a reason. She said she loves me and wants to be with me, its nothing icebox done but she needs space to decide on what she wants. Keep in mind she has an 8 year old child and is 28 soon to be 29. What do you think? I know how heartbreaking this must be. What should be my reply to that? And also never planned to have kids with any of her past relationships apart from me and never even discussed things with them like how she has with me. My friends that have gone through these situations and that have been dating with there partners far longer than i have with anyone told me to message her so I did. I am honoring her request for time and space. This time has allowed me to reflect on my actions and where I went wrong, I just want a second chance, thats all. You can possibly save the relationship by focusing on getting back to a healthy mindset. Things were going great and she proposed to me but I wasnt ready yet and I said yes. Best, Are you involved in everything to the point where she knows you will always pick her up and do all the work to put her back together when she falls? Will she text me first ? Thanks for all the other useful information though. we dont know), but Im having a hard time with the possibility that I may never hear from her again because of what we did, at the wrong time, and if im now associated with that negative memory. I have been slowly working on changing my attitude with my struggles and am starting to incorporate some positive behaviors. the day before V Day i texted her (she never talks on phone) she said she told me she was staying with parents. But then New Years Eve came and it was the first time I stayed over her house with the kids and her ex wasnt there so we all thought why not spend New Years together. Wed had a few ups and downs before and she suffers with anxiety and has pushed me away before too. She said I might of not been on the same page cause I was moving fast which I understand I got excited ans caught up in the moments with her She messaged me on Friday saying hey I am going to Montauk wont be on my phone a lot so can we set something up for Monday when you are free ? Please help me. One of our amazing coaches could give you solid advice once they have more details on the situation. Hope this helps! I find it interesting that she replied the second time I reached out. All of her friends love me and Ive not reached out to them out of respect for her. If / when she approaches you to talk about the relationship, let her know that you support her and its great that shes finding out why she feels this way about herself and you support her journey. She told me she loved me and wanted to be with me, but we just needed to take some space. I graduated November and we were still cool and still seeing each other like once or twice a month until recently I found out shes been very close to her ex whos her coursemate and shes slept over at his place a couple of times. Saturday I hear from her bestfriend shes been thinking about why I shushed my sister, if I was hiding something. Hi I enjoyed the article but as always you think your situation is different, so here goes Im a dad of 2, 7 years divorced. I tell her to broke up if thats what she want but she refused and tells me that she need time to think maybe shes wrong. We are studying in the same school, same module, same course, its just hard to play it cool 24/7. What do I do and most importantly what does she really want during this time? We were so good together, and she acknowledges that but maintains its just too soon. I would need to know more about this situation but if youve never met this girl and you are looking for a relationship, then this does not sound like what youre looking for. Then after i said her lets forget about all the things .can you answer me do you want to be stay with me or not.she said i dont know i want to be with you or not.please give me some time leave me alone for a while. Plus, I felt i was breaking the rules by reaching out to someone that rejected me twice instead of her reaching out to me. Her birthday is also soon and I am wondering should I get a very small present or just let it be? Last time she was visiting me she felt smothering about my country, so she went back a week early. Best, The best thing you can do is focus on you and your well-being. Just head to this link: https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/ I never once prevented her from taking care of herself if not, I would be the one looking out for her health and well being. And my sudden neediness. Ive been there for her so many times I cant even count. I met this girl I then saw her again at a party and we didnt say anything at first. Im also curious did it work out after taking Appolnias advice or the relationships ended. it sound like you might need more time to work on yourself. We have been on trips, going for walks, and doing couple things. If you are having anxiety towards the situation it does show some attachment and clinginess. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated! as well when I asked if she just wanted space or what, she mentioned that she just does not know what she wants and said we can chat if you want but if you dont want to thats fine and I understand. Good luck! She seemed upset as she claimed her parents may not want us to be together. She says she see everything she needs within me but she is clouded by the fact that I have a smaller child that is 2 yrs old. But on one hand we would be a sweet, caring man that proves his love and commitment, while also respecting her space. Kumar. I get nervous (probably just some insecurity) that she might be talking to a new man, but I can say she has always been very upstanding, trustworthy and honest with me from day one and something I value about her. This is a less serious relationship question as Ive only been seeing this girl for almost 3 months. But on the issue she said to me that when I do borrow money from her I should atleast try and repay well according to me right now for the past five months ive had no job but still searching so means of paying her back is close to zero. I would book a private coaching session if you need more help, but youve got this. I find parts that resonate but I get caught in a rabbit hole and confused on whether certain things apply. Thank you for your answer (: Hello Francis, I strongly suggest for you to book a session here https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching-2/ with me so we can really chat about the history and dynamics of your relationship so I can give you guidance and exact advice. She will come to an understanding that these games are immature. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/. Shes an individual that is surrounded by a lot of people in her life, Im not saying shes ignoring me, but at the same time I dont know if her saying I need space is really her way of distancing herself from me to focus attention on this new guy. When someone is confident with themselves, it is magnetic to their partner, and attraction and desire intensify. Not on my team but same office so I see her every day. Now suddenly due to her career and family pressure, she is getting off our relationship. Hi Dillan, Hope this helps! Catch up on sports, PlayStation and whatever else you want to do. I think it is best to not text or call or or anything and just wait to see if she initiates contact back with me? She did say this once before when travel together for 5 weeks in Asia she said maybe we should be friends and she is not right for me I said no thanks I have no interest in only friends since then was ok obviously since I was to needy and smothering and learning not to through sites like this , books etc , think fairly confident maybe not enough I contacted her 1 week after said I am learning about this stuff can we meet for short date she replied she still Feels smothered and REGardless she thinks something missing so I didnt contact her again . Thank you for contacting us, Apollonia. She came back and told me that she still doesnt think getting back together would be good, and said she came home because she doesnt really have anywhere else to go and because she doesnt want any bad blood between us. We did and she said I need to focus on other things etc. Reno, Met girl of my life about 4 months ago, both love each other physically and emotionally. Please use this time to focus on you and things youd like to accomplish for yourself. I let her text me, call me. She wanted to talk in person and wanted to come to an understanding, but I have not heard from her since Saturday and its now Monday. But I dont want to lose the relationship as we have a lot planned over the next year or so. its just hard to play it cool 24/7. This is where you will learn everything about attraction and women. Watch our videos on our youtube channel at no cost. I just wanted to know if you had any advice for me, I love this girl so much and i cant imagine a life without her, and i know for a fact only a few months ago she felt the same, we had spoken many times about getting engaged this year. Would it help to talk to her and tell her about what I been doing saying etc.? -Apollonia. Hello TJ, But last week but one I had an emergency and I asked for her help and she told me she cant be of help right now so I was all cool but then she said ive been thinking about it all along and cant support me at all and that she needs a break up. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/. If you keep reaching out to her and showing up at her house, shes going to feel extremely unsafe and like you dont listen to her. We have both explained to each other our problems and what we feel for each other, especially things we do that make the other mad. So last week me and my 6month relationship girlfriend had brunch with my sister, my sister spoke about about my ex, and how she had liked her so much but it hurt when she deceived me. Due to the high volume of comments we get, its a little difficult to give you solid advice through the comment section. During our conversation, because of the typhoon which was cold, she said that she slept with somebody but I know she would not do that actually. Many thanks for your Feminine essence of guidance for us men, Me a my girlfriend have been going out for over a year and everything was going great. There are only two things to do here. She has just recently gotten out of an 8 month relationship. She said we needed to give each other space to move on. I love her more than anyone Ive ever been with. Minnie Mills on Instagram: "First and foremost, I want to Im very glad she cares enough about me to tell me this before either one of us gets hurt, although she told me she felt like she was poison to me, which I didnt agree with entirely but I can see where shes coming from. She said she doesnt want to live with me and feels like the past 5 yrs has been a waste. Apollonia. I asked if she like it and she said yea but its not like Ive never seen a penis before so I was so confused because when she sends me stuff I always compliment her she hasnt been the same since. But I dont want to lose her neither. Im stuck in this hotel cause I have no where to go or do. Hello Ashayne, two months ago i reached out to her and we were having a nice conversation we didnt speak about a relation(shes single), but one week ago she opened her facebook and found that i have sent her a message with a (faux compte) 3 months ago telling her i miss her ext ( i dont know if she knew that it is me who sent her the message). She said I am not asking you to be out of my life but need some time as she is unhappy and doesnt know what to do. She suddenly realized that she is my mistress and feels guilty about causing the collapsed of my marriage. I agree with everything Apollonio is saying. Idk why she hasnt messaged me Balance your emotions out and find some happiness in the process of you being alone. Meaning that Ive asked her whats going and shes always saying that everything is good and well, but my gut feeling tells me others things. Best, She stated Im the love of her life. She said that i have a bad habit of forgetting things which i do, but its not like i dont care about what she has to say however i acknowledge that women can see that as me not caring. I am scared im going to lose her for good. A few months ago I met this girl and right off the bat we hit it off. Wishing you the best Or she probably has to manage her issues. I love her a lot and want to have a future with her. I know its hard but I believe stepping back and giving her space to figure things out will help her and you. But leave this one alone and focus on building your life right now. I saw her last weekend, have conversation with her friends but not with her (my bad maybe I was suppose to say hello only). She said that she isnt breaking up with me and isnt using the break to slowly put me down. If your partner says they need space in your relationship, something has gone a little wrongeither with the partnership or in their own life. She was depressed and that she didnt want to be seen in that state. Is 5 months not enough time? She used to make me feel like a macho stud, but now Im feeling more like a nerdy mamas boy. She left almost 2 weeks ago and begged me to come with her and ow she wont hardly talk to me unless its about the kids, she wont say i love you or i miss you but i did blow her phone up everyday. Combine over $100,000 a year with $75,000 of mine. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/. If she asks for a few days or weeks of alone time, give it to her. Can I eventually reach out to her with a brief positive text encouraging her with her new job and also make any brief mention that I am working on me?
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